Do's and Don't's Cruise Vacation: Mainstream cruises
(high end cruisers can skip this section)

Your Wallet: Not only cruise lines like to empty your wallet (OK it is their business), but also the many pickpockets in ports will follow you around til' the right moment is there.... Never ever carry your wallet in your trousers back pocket...hide it somewhere else!

Taxi's in port: In towns where taxi's have a meter: always ask the cab driver to turn it on.
The only exception to this if you negotiate a fixed price excursion. Always do a little small talk
with the cab driver, to really find out how his language skills really are.
If you negotiate a price: make sure you're talking the same currency, price per cab, not per person etc.
Even when things go wrong in the end (which seldom happens) use the following "acting school" solution.
Take out your mobile phone: make a fake call, use a language your cabbie does not understand, even if
you have to make it up and frequently use the words "taxi" and "police" and normally things will work
out.

Haggling: can be very tiring when walking around in non-western ports and markets.
Wear a business like shirt and carry a local language newspaper under your arm.
Only works if your spouse is not too keen on shopping!

Internet and/or Wifi: As connections on the ship are slow and expensive, your best bet is to
follow the crew, who are carrying a notebook, Ipad or otherwise into town, or just ask them.
They will know the closest and cheapest connection close to port. In case this happens in the
port itself, remember that the crew has to be back on board an half an hour before the passengers
have to, resulting in speedy connections during this small time frame.
Also with many crew members are using Skype, things might get a little noisy.

Liquor on board: While most cruise lines use strict rules of bringing liquids on board, often citing
the most dubious reasons, things in real life aren't as bad. Soda's and beer in moderate quantities
are in general no problem, and are for the cruise line not enough (embarrassment) reason to stop
a passenger.
Hard liquor can be a problem, depending how desperate a cruise line is. In ports where your hand
luggage is checked by state officials and not by the cruise line itself this is often not a problem.
The state officials are only interested in safety issues, not the least in booze or wine.
It is totally agreeable that cruise lines forbid the use of BYOB drinks in their restaurants or
bars, however to prohibit this in your own stateroom or balcony, doesn't reflect well on their sense
of hospitality. Floating resorts are like land based resorts, where they do not have such rules.

Smoking: Smoking rules are the most difficult rules to decipher: Online it might say: Smoking is strongly
discouraged in the staterooms, but in your "daily" it might say it is strictly prohibited, while in your
stateroom it might say: No smoking on the balconies, use the the provided ashtray in your cabin.
Obviously many cruise lines do not want to lose too many smoking passengers.
The best cruise lines have clear rules and know how to accommodate smokers and non smokers alike.

Cruise excursions: In some some ports a must, especially where the excursion goes to faraway places.
The cruise ship will only wait for passengers who have booked the ships own excursions. If you go out on your own
please note the telephone number of the cruise ship or its agency in port. If you are in a port with other
"alphabets" always have someone write down the port location in their language, so you can show your taxi driver.

Hop on/off tours are very popular among cruise passengers. Tip: in sub tropic or tropic climates wait till
the afternoon to take such tour: most of the stores and often museums are closed anyway and it will
be much quieter aboard the bus.

Shuttles: Some cruise lines only announce their shuttles in to port at the last moment, sometimes only a day before
arriving in port. They do not want to jeopardize their often inflated excursion tours. Please do your homework
or enquire at the excursion desk.

Dining on board: The second seating is in general much quieter and less "rushed".
On a "sea-day" everyone wakes up late, resulting in "busy" late breakfasts and lunches. Tip: Wake
up early and you have the ship to yourself!

Disembarkation Day: The evening before is the right time to tip your cabin attendant for service rendered
with the friendly request if you could vacate your stateroom a little later than the official program.

When to book: A golden rule in the cruise business is that they always have to sail at 100% occupancy. Unlike
the hotel business it is for the cruise business impossible to do temporary lay-offs, close certain floors and alike.
And a general cruise passenger will spend quite a bit on board: Excursions, drinks, bingo, shops etc.
In the high season you pay the full ticket, in the off-season good deals can be had often a few weeks from
embarkation date. The difference in pricing between agencies can be awesome... so please shop around.
Be aware that some cruise lines offer family deals during school vacations resulting sometimes in a floating
high school! Great if you have kids in this age group, but otherwise......

Dress code: Gala evenings only serve one purpose: The photographers on board have to make some money too!
With the present airline luggage restrictions it is almost impossible to carry an extra tuxedo, cumber bund, lacquered
shiny shoes etc, without costing an extra fortune. The same for evening dresses.
Realizing that some customers love gala evenings and some hate it all together, cruise lines have to make an
decision here. Nowadays it's awkward to see passengers dressed up all the way, while others feel perfectly comfortable
in dress jeans, with the ultimate result that no one feels happy.

Shopping on board: The only good discounts to be had are on tobacco products. Liquor, jewelry etc. are much less
of a deal. Remember in Europe the duty free store can only be open if during the cruise a non EU port has or will be called upon:
Norway, Canary Islands, Gibraltar, Monaco, Channel Islands and any North African or Turkey ports.
Duty free means all taxes and duties. Tax free means only the sales taxes.
Do not rush, on the last few days of your cruise things will be more discounted,
even the pictures by the photographers will be sold at a fraction of their initially inflated price.

Gambling on board: This is often left to a concessionaire with his own rules. i.e. roulette tables have two "zero's" while
the "in-prison" rule doesn't exists. The one armed bandits have poor pay-outs and are not published.

The cruise line itself general takes care of the following: Staterooms, F&B, excursions and onboard entertainment.
Shops, Spa's, Photographers, Casino etc are in general farmed out (often at 30%+ of their revenues)
If you keep that in mind, it is a lot easier dealing with the different departments, as everyone has their own interest.

Last but not least: Enjoy yourself!